Finally, the cool breeze of the air-conditioned DMV welcomed us, and much to my chagrin, I never spotted Herb. Unbelievable. After passing the test (getting every
answer right, thank you), I couldn’t even have the satisfaction of walking by
Herb with my temporary driver’s license. I guess the real victory, however, was
that I was able to get my passport and start traveling with the rest of the
gang. I would be joining the exclusive “air” club and knew it would only be
that much easier up in the clouds.

* * *

CM made it look so easy. No lines, no waiting, just walking on water with their luggage
in tow behind them. And then there was me. Shuffling quickly through the
airport terminal (no frequent flyer miles yet to upgrade me), I made the
mistake of having my hands bogged down with my suitcase, carry-on, ticket stub
and a piping hot cup of coffee (really?).

Waiting in the bin line, I noticed the woman behind me trying to become friends. Still reeling from the popularity contest I had won back at the DMV, I figured it was just another fan trying to make small talk. It turned out I was quite wrong. Apparently, my bag was falling over into her bin. Which would have been fine, had I remembered to
remove the water bottle I had accidentally left in my bag, causing the buzzer
to go off and put me back in line. Then, I had to remove the large bottle of
perfume I carried, another unsuccessful attempt to make it through the scanner.
We would continue this charade a little further until I would finally make it
through the golden gates and onto my destination… New York City!

The meeting itself went off without a hitch. My return flight was uneventful. Somewhere
between the meeting strike and return flight? An epic novel. Not only were my
hands merely cutoff by the angry gentlemen in front of me who forgot to remove his belt, but shortly after I would be detained to a glass cage. Knocking on the glass box, I yelled to my boss. “What did I do? I’m being taken away. Please send my family my love. And oh yes, I might not make it to work on Monday.”

Thankfully, a few minutes later, after being cotton-swabbed on my palms (the same palm that had touched the Naked Cowboy’s derriere – how convenient), I was released to fly home and try to remember where I parked.

National Fantasy Football League for Centrifuge Media

Draft is in a couple weeks. Stay tuned for the play by play.

Having recently moved to the area in the past year, I was in need of a new driver’s license. Acquainting myself with the DMV’S guidelines for obtaining a new license, I arrived a little before noon, hoping to beat the lunch crowd. Nice thought. Unfortunately, the line formed to see my man Herb was at least 20 people deep… not to mention the already filled seats in the waiting area. After waiting the 30 minutes or so to be seen, I was told that my former driver’s license wasn’t going to cut it. I would need my social security card, also. Well, crap. While I did read the requirements on-line the night before, in my hurry to get to my date with Herb on time, I realized in a simultaneous flashback that I had left my social security card on the kitchen table. I could practically see my card sitting there… waiting there with its hand on its hip… wondering why I had forgotten it. Stepping out of line, I promised to return shortly.

Arriving back at the DMV 30 minutes later, the line must have quadrupled in the short amount of time I left to retrieve my card. In line for a good 45 minutes, I was finally an arm length away from my friend Herb. Close enough to smell his cheap aftershave. Sweating slightly, I displayed the last of my paperwork. I couldn’t help but stand there proud, success forming itself into a smile across my face. “I’ll just need to see your proof of address change.” Darn it. He never told me that I needed to bring that with me. “Sir, you never said I needed to bring that with me.” Pause. “Ma’am, yes, I did. When you were here, I told you that you would need to bring with you three things: Your driver’s license, social security card and change of address.”

“No, you didn’t,” I responded. “If you did, I clearly would have brought all three things with me.”

“Ma’am, there is no need for you to get angry here,” Herb said, pumping out his chest with a wheeze of breath and attempting to increase his 5 foot 4 frame above mine. He continued, “I specifically stated that you will need to bring with you three things: your driver’s license…” Pause. “Social security card…” Another dramatic pause. “And confirmation of your address change. Now, if you can come back with some proof that you reside in the state of North Carolina, I will be happy to let you move forward,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. Nonverbal translation: Get your stuff and get out of here.

“Once again, it would have been really great if you had told me those three things in the first place,” I repeated. I stood there hoping to display the same condescending air in my tone, same intimidation in my stature. Nonverbal translation: I will not put up with your attitude.

A minute later, and with my head down, I was back out at my car. Staring at the wheel, I contemplated where I could find proof of an address change, hoping that it would miraculously appear in my car so I wouldn’t have to make the drive home, again. A gossip magazine subscription floating somewhere in the backseat? A recent birthday card addressed to me? But alas! My insurance card, of course! What was I thinking? Certainly, Herb will accept this evidence.

Throwing open the glove box and withdrawing my golden ticket, I sprinted back to the line of 50 people. Surely, my buddy won’t make me get back in line since I only stepped out two seconds ago… surely, he can see my sweat, blood and tears. Literally, seeing how I stubbed my toe on my way back.

“You have to wait in line,” Herb jeered. Simple and right to the point. Much like his nose.

Cheers were heard throughout the room by my fellow linemen… clearly no longer my comrades. I guess understandable at this time of night. One less person meant one step closer to dinnertime.

An hour later, feeling defeated and no energy left in me to smile, I produced the last of the paperwork and was told I could sit in the waiting room. That’s funny. Hadn’t I already done enough waiting?

Another hour and a half later, and I was on my way to getting my new driver’s license. Except there would be no license today. Perhaps if I was given some advance notice from my pal Herb about the written test that was to take place, I could have saved myself a lot of anguish. I guess it did make sense after seeing all those people in the waiting room with a packet produced by Herb. Where was my book? Real interesting, Herbie. But not to worry, I took my first driver’s license test over 12 years ago, I would pass with flying colors. The big red X popped up on my screen at the same moment the 16-year-old kid to my right got a swooping hug from his mother. Glad one of us aced it. I could practically see the crowd lifting him up on their shoulders… fists pumping… their king crowned. The roles of the pauper and jester played by myself and Herb. Walking out of the DMV with my head down, I glanced up to see the green venom seeping out of the corners of Herb’s mouth. Obviously, my freshly applied makeup was not going to be in a photo shoot today. “Don’t forget to study next time,” final words following me into the star-filled night.

To Be Continued…

OR

Glass Half Full (Of Milkshake) 

Being a natural worrywart, I like to get things done early and approach planning with caution. It has almost always served me well; this time it came back to bite me. On a recent event in Atlanta, I didn’t know the exact time we would be done on Friday. I was up against the deadline for booking flights, so I booked an 8:45 PM return knowing that would definitely give us time to wrap up everything and make it to the airport. Boy, did it.

5:00 AM^*: Hit the gym in the hotel. At dinner two nights before, the restaurant had a burger called The Heart Attack. The Heart Attack consists of a burger topped with a double order of bacon and fried onions, a fried egg, and, instead of a bun, it is served between two grilled cheese sandwiches. Oh, and a pretty hefty side of fries. Anybody with any sense knows that eating The Heart Attack is a terrible idea, but it seemed like they put it on the menu as a personal challenge to me. Challenge accepted! I “won” (ate all the fries too), but I didn’t feel quite right the next day. So I ran 3.5 miles on the treadmill and lifted some weights, successfully burning off maybe one of the grilled cheeses and half of the fries. I feel better about myself though.

7:00 AM: Meet Joel and Marques in the meeting room to test all our equipment again and run through the agenda for the program that day. Everything looks good.

9:00 AM – 1 PM: Final day of the meeting goes off without a hitch. Striking and packing the equipment goes off without a hitch. Smooth sailing so far. Great first half of the day! You know how happy the people on the beach are at the beginning of Jaws? That’s us walking out of there.

2:00 PM: We check out of the hotel and decide to go to the airport to try to get on an earlier flight. No dice. Time to dig in – Marques gets a milkshake, Joel gets a giant plate of soul food, I get a chicken salad sandwich.

3:45 PM: We hit the Sky Club. This is the first time I have ever been in one of these, and it is kind of great. Walking in there from the regular terminal in the airport is like when it changes to color in The Wizard of Oz, but maybe better. I feel like munchkins singing and giant suckers would get old a lot quicker than plentiful power outlets and free wi-fi.

4:30 – 5:00 PM: Eat roughly my body weight in crudité.

5:10 PM: It seems really dark outside. This can’t be good. I’m just going to keep watching the College World Series and hope for the best.

5:11 PM: The DirecTV just went out.

5:20 PM: “Attention customers, the airport is closed. No flights will be arriving or departing due to the weather. We will let you know when we have more information.” Ugh.

6:15 PM: The airport reopens, and I see a couple of planes leave. At first I think “They sure are lucky to get out of here so quickly.” Then I realize they were sitting on the runway for the last hour and a half. Oof.

8:00 PM: Time to board. All signs say we will be on time, but the people piled up at every gate say we won’t.

8:20 PM: Our flight has been delayed until 9:15 because we are waiting for our crew to arrive from Richmond. 30 Minutes, no big deal.

9:15 PM: The automated voice keeps announcing that we will be leaving at 9:15, and we should be ready to board 35 minutes prior to take off. I hate the automated voice.

9:30 PM: Delay is moved back to 9:45, but still no sign of the crew. Not looking good!

9:45 PM: Flight is delayed until 11:45. Last chance to eat something. The sugar side of my frosted mini-wheat biscuit wants ice cream, but the wheat side says to eat real food. This internal debate rages until Marques decides he wants another milkshake. That sounds like a perfect compromise to me. The line at Ben & Jerry’s is ridiculous, but we take our place at the end anyway. It’s not like we have anything else to do. After waiting in line for all of about 10 seconds, the guy behind the counter shouts “Does anybody want a milkshake? Come to the front of the line.” So we got to cut in front of about 35 people in the milkshake line. I haven’t known Marques for very long, but this is EASILY the happiest I have ever seen him.

10:00 PM: That milkshake was awesome. Probably not worth being in the airport all day and night, but it definitely took some of the sting off.

10:00 – 11:00 PM: There is a guy on the PA saying stuff like “Um, I think the plane y’all are waiting for might have just, um, taken off.  That probably means it might be here in like, um, an hour or something”. I might be delirious, but this is hilarious to me. It is like a scene from a movie or a skit on SNL. I am going to mentally file it away just in case someone from a movie or SNL ever asks me for a hilarious idea. It seems like I might be the only one at the gate enjoying it though.

11:15 PM: Finally time to board. We start walking down the aisle of the plane and realize we are at the back. Not like “near the back”, the dead last row. I didn’t even know they went that far back. Marques has the window seat, but it doesn’t have a window. It’s just a wall seat. At least we are on a plane.

12:00 AM: Take Off

12:50 AM: Touch down. And that’s how a 50 minute flight becomes a 10 hour day at the airport. At least we got our milkshakes before all those suckers in line.

So after a bit of a hiatus, we’re bringing it back… Bring back what, you ask? The AV-Empire, of course. Why the sudden re-surge? Well, we’ve had a lot going on over the past year. We’ve traveled to some amazing places, produced some terrific audiovisual presentations, re- our newsletter, brought in some new team members, and now we’re back!!!

Now is the time to follow us. We guarantee you’ll be in for one awesome ride.  After all, where else can you go for a look at what goes on behind-the-scenes, one-on-one interviews, tips for having a flawless AV presentation, office challenges and pranks? Only one place. The AV-Empire. In order for The AV-Empire to better serve and entertain you, please tell us what you would like to hear. Airport terminal confessionals? More eating contests? Restaurant reviews from all the fabulous cities and countries we travel to? Name it, and we’ll post it. Go ahead and subscribe!

As the saying goes, communication is the key to any great relationship. So let’s start talking!

As the newest account manager to join the team, I can tell you that I love people about as much as I love Mexican food… and that’s a deeply serious commitment. As a matter of fact, combine the two, and this could be love. But chips and salsa aside, I am committed to providing excellent customer service to you. Thankfully, I’ve joined a team of professionals that believes the clock never stops running until perfection has been reached and your audiovisual experience is flawless.

Moving from Pennsylvania last  fall makes me a Steelers fan with a new fondness for winter. I have a slight addiction to strawberry Twizzlers and a serious addiction to celebrity gossip and reality TV.

I believe that microphones were invented for karaoke, people in the right lane are meant to be passed, Mexican food should be its own food group, and Betty White would make an excellent step-grandmother.

… but enough about me already!

I am extremely excited to be a part of the Centrifuge Media team and to be working with you. After all, where else can you get a full stage setup to belt out Aretha? Cue the mic, please, and the backup dancers… This chick is coming to your next event!

Apparently, Pennsylvania makes TWO great things, Chocolate AND account managers.

January 2011-Frances Soo
“For the January Employee of the Month, I have chosen Frances Soo…Thanks Franny!” - Lauren Burgeson

February 2011- Marques Manning
“…I have selected Marques for this monthly award not only because of his hard work, but because it goes to show how valuable it is to be immersed in all facets of what Centrifuge Media does, but on top of that, having the ability to execute it. For his in-the-trenches leadership, and making the impossible possible, I give him this award.” - Mark Casey

March 2011-Will Sanders
“…In March (also beginning of April), Will has worn a couple of other hats. He has worn the ‘educator hat’ and has been working very closely with Jack to get him acclimated to how things are run here at Centrifuge, as well as, with the equipment. He also wore the ‘technician hat’ at one of my meetings and after dealing with a rough start, was able to get the meeting back on track and running smoothly. Congratulations to you Will, and to all of the ‘hats’ that you wear.” - India Lucas

April 2011-Creative Services
“Making the selection for April was pretty difficult because we’re all putting out some serious effort with all that’s been going on. With that being said, the employee of the month for April is the Creative Services Department. Behind the scenes Frances has been dealing with multiple binder projects, ordering/shipping print materials and wrapping up mediasite projects. Mark has also had his hands full creating looks, working on websites and materials and has spent several hours (even Sundays) editing multiple video projects. In addition to their creative work, they both also racked up some frequent miles traveling to programs. Congratulations and thanks for all you both do.” - Marques Manning

I can’t wait to contribute to the team here, and help Centrifuge be the best in the AV industry!

A secret stash of 12,000 records and a beard you want to get lost in.
Welcome to the Project Management team!

Why?

Because I can and I’m good at it.   

It’s the level of commitment to what I do that brought me to Centrifuge Media, I found in this company and its people a bit of a career soul mate.

“You’ll love who we are because we love what we do.” And for some of us, it’s an obsession! Lucky clients! Lucky us!!!

The rest of it? The rest of me? Well, there’s the long walks on beaches (but at some point you have to turn around and walk back, so I’ve always wondered about that phrase), my bass (which needs me to spend more time with it), and taking pictures of pretty things I could never make myself, (i.e. perfect spider webs and wildflowers). I use “…” a lot.

A wicked bassline and will unmercifully crush your event’s audio needs.

Below are several configurations of the same room having the dimensions of 29.8’x 45.2’x 15.8.’ Take a look at how the setup really changes the space. Also note, each diagram is set to the maximum number of people who can comfortably fit in the room. As with every setup, chairs and tables can always be removed, but they can’t always be added.

If your main concern is seating the most people but still wanting enough space to be functional, theater style is probably the best way to go in this example.  There is seating for 140 with 3.5 feet of space between the chairs and walls (note: the amount of space between chairs and/or tables depends on the room size).  With these room dimensions, banquet seating is the most practical if needing tables is a top priority over the actual amount of attendees needed in one room.  Banquet seating allows for ten people to share a table, leaving plenty of space between each, along with the walls (in some cases).  If you like this seating style, but want more tables, try staggering them. In this situation, a whole table was added, creating room for 10.  Or, if you’re concerned with some people having their backs towards the screen, use crescent rounds.  This setting reduces the amount of seating but, it ensures that each attendee will be able to see the screen at the front of the room.  With the classroom setups shown, little space is available between the tables and walls; some tables actually block the one and only doorway into the room.  But keep in mind, the classroom setup may be the better option for your event if your space has larger dimensions and/or there isn’t a doorway located along the side walls.

When choosing a seating style, not only do you have to take into consideration the dimensions of the room, but you have to consider the table size itself. Think about it: if your room is only 25 feet wide and you want banquet seating, a standard round table is 5.5 feet in diameter.  So, if you have 11 feet of table widths (2 tables beside each other), it leaves 14 feet of space left to work with. These 14 feet have to be used for the distance between both tables (typically 5 feet), as well as between the walls. So you have 4.5’ from the wall to the first table, a 5.5’ table, 5’ between the first and second table, another 5.5’ table, and another 4.5’ from the second table to the wall. See how it’s easier to picture now? 

So, if you’re wondering if I can help you with future seating arrangements to better plan your next meeting, the answer is, “Yeah sure, I’ll create that room diagram for you.”

FEBO? What the Heck is POSH?  Good question, detached voice!

POSH is a term for all that is fancy, elegant or fashionable. But the term really came from a little mnemonic device that ocean-bound travelers used when they would pick cabins. POSH is short for:

Port Out, Starboard Home.

When England had regular shipping routes to India, a cabin on the port side of a ship going from England to India would be in considerable shade, and the cabins on the starboard side would be facing the sun. This made a huge difference when there wasn’t air conditioning on-board. On the return trip back to England, the opposite was true. so when picking a cabin, You were “in the know” by sticking to the acronym, a Port-side cabin on the way out, and a starboard-side cabin on the way home.

So “Posh” came from being “in the know”, plus if you had enough money to make those trips, you probably were, fancy, elegant and fashionable.

So again, what the heck is FEBO? Well, since the implement of air conditioning, picking a cabin doesn’t really matter anymore. Just try to stay away from all the spring breakers is our philosophy. Concern yourself with FEBO. FEBO is short for:

Front on Even, Back on Odd.

We finally discovered the mystery to First-class meals, and your fate swings on the last digit of your airline flight. Did they run out of Filet Mignon, right before they took your order? Only bagels and salads left? We’ve all been there. A very little known, yet little-contested fact about first class meal service: on even numbered flights they start at the front of the plane, so rows 1, 2, and 3? Bon-appetite! Rows 4, 5, and 6? Good luck with the leftovers, and better luck next time.

If you’ve ever watched the food network, then you know what the phrase “Are you ready for a Throwdown?” means.  If you don’t, let me give you a bit of background…

We here at Centrifuge are a fairly competitive bunch, so when an opportunity arises for a competition, you can bet on it that we’ll be at the front of the line ready to sign up!  Soooo, with the Bake-off being held last year, and winners rewarded for that, we decided to do it again this year, but switch it up a bit.  We took the Throwdown! concept and applied it to our competition.  Names were drawn out of a hat for five people.  Those five people then drew names of their competitors.  The first names drawn out were the “chefs” and they got to choose their own signature dish to have their opponents cook.  The challengers do not use the chef’s recipe, but are encouraged to try to make the dish their own, so that it stands out against their competitor.  Here are the pairs:

Chef:  India vs. Challenger:  Marques   —   Honey Chicken

Chef:  Brian vs. Challenger:  Austin       —   Chili

Chef:  Praise vs. Challenger:  Mark         —  Mac-n-Cheese

Chef:  Melanie vs. Challenger:  Lauren  —  Chicken Parmesan

Chef:  Will vs. Challenger: Joel   —  Lasagna

There were also some ground rules that had to be adhered to, otherwise you would be eliminated!  1)  No spouses or significant others could help, coach, sniff or cook it.  We’re serious folks!!  2)  No desserts.  This is a cook-off people!  Bring the hard stuff!!  3)  Could be any entrée of your choice.  This included meats and whatever else you could think of…I know….we were definitely throwing ourselves out there and asking for trouble on this!

Here’s how it went down on chow-down day.  The chili and honey chicken were served first.  Everyone was given “A” and “B” dishes, representing the chef and challenger.  Apparently the chili was great, because Marques and Brian both ate 4 BOWLS!!  Didn’t they realize we still had three courses to go?!?!  Once we tasted those dishes, the parmesan chicken and mac-n-cheese were served, followed by the lasagna.  Below is a brief description of each of the dishes.

Brian – Chili  -  “I had no doubt I would take the competition.  With Austin putting ‘pork’ in his chili, there was no question!”

Austin – Chili  -  “I call this ‘Austin’s Pulled Chuck Chili’.  I used 3lbs of Chuck Roast, placed it in the crock pot to cook overnight to ensure the meat was as tender as possible.  For best results – 1 seven year old assistant to help stir.”

Marques – Honey Chicken - “I had no idea what to make when India chose Honey Chicken.  So, I just made what I knew I would like.  Wait, I still haven’t tried it, but my wife said it was delicious!”

India – Honey Chicken – “I thought that Honey Chicken sounded fairly boring, so I wanted to ‘kick it up a notch’ (Thank you Emeril) and make it stand out.  I chose to stuff my chicken with goat cheese.  By doing this, I thought it would be a great way to offset the sweetness of the honey and fire of the chili flakes.  By doing all of those, I was hoping to hit all of the taste buds”. 

Praise – Mac-n-Cheese – “I wanted to make something everyone would like.  I guess they did!”

Mark – Mac-n-Cheese – “This is Cousin Marty’s Mac-n-Cheese.  This is a family recipe that was published in 1966 by the Dairy Council.” 

Will – Lasagna  -  “My dish was your basic 3-layer lasagna.  We would have taken home the win if it would have been more beefy and saucy.”

Joel – Lasagna  -  “My lasgna almost didn’t make it to the judging, due to a technicality.  I wanted to make sure the dish was fresh for our judging, so I had my wife put it in the oven that morning.  That was a conflict.  I did, however, give her specific instructions on temperature and times to cook covered and uncovered.  I’m sure some points were deducted by some individuals (Haters!).  Anyway, we managed to pull off a win.  Hope the team enjoyed my lasagna with sauce made from tomatoes, garlic, fresh basil and parsley and Baby Bella mushrooms (no jar stuff here).”

Lauren – Chicken Parmesan – “This dish consists of thinly sliced chicken crusted with parmesan cheese and seasoned breadcrumb mix, along with melted mozzarella cheese atop.  This dish was also accompanied by angel hair pasta, topped off with fresh, HOMEMADE marinara sauce, which makes my dish one of a kind.”

Melanie – Chicken Parmesan  -  “Did Brian mess up my dish when he delivered it to the office?  I knew it!”

So, you’ve read above about our amazing dishes.  We should seriously open up a restaurant.  Not only do we have amazing A/V and creative skills, but we can really cook! 

A winner was awarded in each category, as well as an overall 1st, 2nd and 3rd place.  The winners are as follows:

Chili – Brian, Honey Chicken – India, Lasagna – Joel, Chicken Parmesan – Lauren, Mac-n-Cheese – Praise

Overall 1st – TIE  Brian and Praise, Overall 2nd – Lauren, Overall 3rd – India

I thought it would be interesting to get feedback from all of the competitors on the dishes.  Here is feedback on what we thought of each other’s dishes.

“The beef in Austin’s chili was super tender.”

“Lauren’s Chicken Parm pulled no punches!  It was clearly thought out, homemade sauce, can’t beat it!”

“Red pepper flakes put India’s dish over the top.  Nice combination of sweet and savory.”

“Good texture and flavor profile in Brian’s chili.”

“Praise’s dish is the kind of mac-n-cheese that makes you believe in Southern Hospitality.”

“The Big Shaboogly Chili was great!”

“Mark’s macaroni had a delicious extra kick at the end.  Something unexpected, but welcome!”

“The mushrooms in Joel’s lasagna were a nice surprise.”

“Will’s lasagna was very robust and hearty.”

“Marques’s honey chicken was so tender!” 

“I especially like the honey glazed chicken stuffed with goat cheese.  It had the perfect amount of sweetness to it, which needless to say, created a party in my mouth!”

“The dollop of sour cream that Brian added balanced the spice flavors in the chili”.

This is far from over.  In the upcoming months we will do a role reversal.  The chefs will become the challengers and vice versa.  We might change the layout of the menu too….with all of us sleeping at our desks about an hour after the Throwdown, we realized that all that pasta might not be such a great idea all at once!

Stay tuned for the next edition of CMI Chef Throwdown!